[Hi, I’m Joshua Judson. I’m writing 100 Poems this year. To find out how and why, click HERE.]
Poems written this week: 25
Poems written so far this month: 45
Poems written so far this year: 221
I’m gutted. Last week the theme of the weekly update was balance. I was bragging about having written consistently everyday. The streak is now over, thanks to Walthamstow.
It was one of them. It was Friday, there was no plan. Then there was a vague plan. Then there was the tube, wine, rum, then it was 5:30 AM and my head was in my hands on the Southbound platform of Canada Water station.
It was a good night, it was time well spent. It was a whirlwind of vinyl, dancing, shots, chat about ego and poetry, chips, garlic bread, slavic squats. One of those nights that will always be there in the back of your mind. But I’m still paying for it, four days later. My sleep schedule is completely screwed up.
In this case the Walthamstow of the mind is hubris. It’s telling yourself you will write on the train when, in fact, it was never going to happen.
I’m sort of getting tired of writing in these snatched bits of time between things. Given my realisation that I need to let more of myself into my work, I’ve been looking at HOW I write and I sort of feel like it’s no wonder I’m not saying anything exciting. Reading back through the poems I’ve written so far, most of which have been written in these small snatches of time on trains and on breaks at uni, they are mostly little records of trains of thought or nicely captured images of where I am and what I’m doing at the time. This is hardly surprising, given the circumstances of how they’ve been brought into the world.
When I first did a 50 poem month challenge, I made a practise of waking up early, going to the Lakeside of Barbican and reading and writing for at least an hour. I miss the freedom of this practise. The way the reading would spark the writing. I hate that I don’t read enough. I tend not to read unless I put time aside to do so.
In the coming weeks, I’m going to try to make time everyday to read and write again. This is going to be tough, my sleep is generally all over the place and I’ve historically struggled to keep up a regular, self imposed routine for more than a couple of weeks at most. But this #ThousandPoemYear journey is about discovery and exploration. I feel like my ideal ways of working are beginning to make themselves clear already.
It’d be nice to have a system in place that allows for the odd Walthamstow to happen because, as much as I fetishise productivity, it feels important to be able to do stupid stuff as well.
Joshua Judson x